Like anybody with at least three-quarters of a functioning brain, I'd rather vote for a bag of sand and gravel than George W. Bush. But that doesn't mean that I'm part of the MoveOn-donating, "fuggedaboutit!"-shouting, Moore-fellating hoards. I'm a liberal, sure, but not dogmatic about it.
So I have a lot of trouble in the bumper sticker department. Bumper stickers are all about pithy one-liners, and that's exactly what's wrong with political debate these days. You can't fit nuance into the space.
So instead of being all negative about it -- Me? Never! -- I'd like to propose some new stickers, for those few of us who still sit somewhere between the handles on the political see-saw. If you look back fondly on the days of a "sensible center," baby, these are for you.
First, something that notes opposition to the invasion of Iraq, while still leaving room for war as a legitimate means of defense:
WAR IS NOT USUALLY THE ANSWER
Next, an expression of disapprove of the current administration, without playing petty tit-for-tat:
IMPEACH BUSH
If He Commits What Is Constitutionally
Defined as an Impeachable Offense. Until
then, Just Vote Against Him, as I Plan To.
For those who appreciate the difference between the popular vote and how presidents are actually elected:
RE-DEFEAT BUSH
And This Time, in
the Electoral College,
Too!
And finally, if you're interested in expressing an opinion on your fiscal priorities:
IT WILL BE A GREAT DAY WHEN
SCHOOLS HAVE ALL THE MONEY THEY
NEED AND THE MILITARY HAS TO HOLD
A BAKE SALE TO BUY A BOMBER.
WELL, MAYBE "GREAT" IS TOO STRONG
A WORD. "IRONIC" WORKS BETTER.
HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD ADEQUATELY
FUND BOTH, AS DEFENSE AND EDUCATION
ARE LEGITIMATE PRIORITIES. WE
COULD GET THE MONEY BY REVERSING THE
RECENT TAX CUTS THAT LARGELY WENT TO
THE RICHEST 1% OF THE POPULATION,
FOR A START.
But I'd need to a get an SUV to have a bumper big enough to fit that sticker, and I'm not that much of an asshole.
Do you have any ideas? Post 'em in the comments!
LICK BUSH
(GET IT? IT'S A DOUBLE ENTENDRE. AND SAUCY, TOO!)
Posted on August 29, 2004 11:26 AM
BUSH KNEW ABOUT 9/11: And Continued to Read "My Pet Goat" for Seven Minutes After He Found Out
Posted on August 29, 2004 12:33 PM
How ironic; I'm a heterosexual male that hates Bush!
Posted on August 29, 2004 5:12 PM
WHY CHANGE HORSEMEN MID-APOCALYPSE?
(Okay, I stole that one, but it's still good)
Posted on August 29, 2004 7:00 PM
What a bunch of whack-jobs!
Move out of your parent's houses and get a life!
Four More Years!!!!
BC04
Posted on August 29, 2004 8:02 PM
This from my late sister, back in the 60's:
Gradualism Now!
Posted on August 29, 2004 8:31 PM
Eschew obfuscation
Don't blame me, I voted with the majority!
Support our troops: Elect a war veteran!
Cruelty and neglect are not social policies.
Revenge is not a foreign policy.
Greed is not an economic policy.
Oil costs too much.
Flip-flops are more comfortable than combat boots, and easier on your sole.
Posted on August 29, 2004 9:39 PM
"Defeat George Bush"
sincerely,
Kim Jong Il,
Al Qaeda,
Mohammar Ghadafi,
Mahathir Mohamad,
Iran,
France,
Canada,
Hollywood.
Posted on August 29, 2004 10:38 PM
Who would Jesus bomb?
Swift Boat Vets for Bush the Chickenhawk Coward!
Posted on August 30, 2004 12:05 AM
Kerry '04
Because he's not afraid to take every side on every issue!
Posted on August 30, 2004 12:20 AM
Kerry '04
Because the international community listens to what he says, just ask the Vietkong!
Posted on August 30, 2004 12:26 AM
Kerry '04
Because if you dont vote for me you get Hillary in '08.
Posted on August 30, 2004 12:46 AM
Kerry '04
Because saying he believes something doesn't make it so!
Posted on August 30, 2004 12:49 AM
Kerry '04
Warning: this car changes directions frequently.
Posted on August 30, 2004 1:26 AM
Anybody but Bush (just kidding -- it's a figure of speach. Like, I don't mean either Dick Cheney or Ralph Nader, for example. And I still hate my 6th grade teacher, Mr. Hiemstra. Gore would probably be too divisive, but I like the courage he's shown lately.)
Posted on August 30, 2004 6:35 AM
"Bush-Cheney '04: Probably Better Than a Bag of Sand and Gravel"
Posted on August 30, 2004 6:40 AM
Teach Abstinence:
No More Bush
(cafepress.com/sisbro)
some jackass saw that on my car and said 'so your against teaching abstinence? you must not have daughters.'
yes, I am against that too and nearly everything else bush stands for but did you miss the point bonehead?
really hate bumper stickers too, think we all need a heads up display that covers our whole back window so we can change our note to things like 'get off my bumper you brain dead republican hosemonkey' or when in the bay area 'let me in, I have no insurance and dont care if I smash your car'
whats really scary is that when you look around --nearly-- half the people you see voted for him, even smart people, thanks to Fox, the right wing propaganda machine
Posted on August 30, 2004 7:02 AM
I'm stunned how many people are completely missing the point of the post. They're supposed to be nuanced takes on activist catch phrases. So, for example, "NO BLOOD FOR OIL" becomes:
SOME BLOOD FOR OIL, SINCE IT'S A VITAL NATIONAL INTEREST, BUT SHOULDN'T WE REALLY BE TAKING A SERIOUS LOOK A RENEWABLE SOURCES OF ENERGY?
Posted on August 30, 2004 8:20 AM
Kerry '04
Because Andy Baio is a moron and is on our side!
(cuz he thinks that everyone should follow the lead post and not use this forum for whatever they want, dude, its the internet stupid, there are no rules)
Posted on August 30, 2004 8:39 AM
Kerry '04
Because Andy Baio is a moron and is on our side!
(cuz he thinks that everyone should follow the lead post and not use this forum for whatever they want, dude, its the internet stupid, there are no rules)
Posted on August 30, 2004 8:40 AM
Kerry '04
Because Andy Baio is a moron and is on our side!
(cuz he thinks that everyone should follow the lead post and not use this forum for whatever they want, dude, its the internet stupid, there are no rules)
Posted on August 30, 2004 8:40 AM
How about:
"Marriage is such a sacred institution that we must deny it to those who would fight for it."
Posted on August 30, 2004 8:43 AM
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Posted on August 30, 2004 10:08 AM
> And then Sex Fiend said:
> Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Fighting for peace is like working really hard so you can have a restful retirement. Oh wait.
Posted on August 30, 2004 4:41 PM
I HAVE NUANCED AND VARIED POLITICAL OPINIONS ON A WIDE VARIETY OF SUBJECTS AND I VOTE!
Posted on August 30, 2004 10:35 PM
BRING OUR TROOPS HOME
taking into account the need for stability and rebuilding in Iraq and the responsibility of our army, as a conquering force, to the Iraqi people who are now both Saddam free, which is a plus, and without infrastructure, which is less good.
Posted on August 31, 2004 8:47 AM
Conservatives Killed Jesus
(If anybody knows where I could actually get one of these, let me know)
Posted on August 31, 2004 1:21 PM
NO WAR FOR OIL (except that there's not really any oil flowing from Iraq right now 'cause the pipelines have been blown up again and it's still too unsafe for any Westerners to go in and repair them and then there are still the outstanding oil contracts that Russia had with Iraq to sort out before we can claim it)
Posted on August 31, 2004 4:40 PM
Kerry '04
Because it would be nice if he would drop on by sometime
- The Senate
Posted on August 31, 2004 4:48 PM
What the fuck? Where are you people coming from? I have trouble believing so many conservatives read glassdog. (Please stop shitting all over the comments section. This is not a discussion forum.)
Posted on September 1, 2004 1:40 AM
Kerry '04
Because I will show the Two Americas how the better America lives!
Posted on September 1, 2004 3:22 PM
Kerry '04
Because 'W' stands for work. Im going "W"indsurfing.
Posted on September 1, 2004 3:23 PM
Kerry '04
Because when I come to a fork in the road ... I take it!
Posted on September 2, 2004 3:20 PM
Go Bush Go! Kerry says he's got a plan for getting our Iraq troops out of there, but he says its secret and he won't tell us.... how are we supposed to vote for a man like Kerry who doesn't even want to express his ideas for the war to the people who are voting for him...
Go 2004!
Ps- for people that are going to respond angrily to me about this and complain and try to tell me that somehow bush killed people... then come at me with all you got! Terrorist troops from IRAQ killed hundreds of AMERICANS on 9/11 and we shouldn't just turn our heads and walk away.... our country isn't free anymore... its under attack... if i were old enough to join the airforce and help fight for our freedom... then i would... give me a year and i'll be out on the battlefield.
Posted on September 2, 2004 3:52 PM
Anyone with a basic understanding of the Constitution and the bill of Rights in 2004
Posted on September 3, 2004 8:52 PM
I have been a republican for years. I self started 3 companies on my own. Since G.W.B. and his outsourcing I have lost most of our business with 2 of the companies. I also had to sell the last business. GWB. is an idiot.
Posted on September 7, 2004 7:08 PM
I don't think we need a new bumper sticker. Adapt what we have been given. I just go up to the big SUVs (or any vehicle dull enough to proclaim its bovine nature) with the new nondescript W '04 stickers (I guess vague is best for the New World Order lemmings) and write -ar next to that capital W to complete the thought. Four More = More War!
Posted on September 8, 2004 12:33 AM
Oh! I love all the idiotic republican bullshit...its so 1984!
how about this as a bumper sticker:
"When People Start Thinking, Democrats Win"
Posted on September 8, 2004 2:44 AM
I love these bumper stickers:
Keep The Government Out Of My Uterus
Clinton/Gore 2004
Native Californian=Can't Afford To Live Here
Trust Me, we'll "find" Osama on November 1st.
Vote For Bush 2004: If You Can't Afford Cable, Then You Don't Need The News.
1,000 Dead, One Mans Vindication is 1,000 Families Tears.
1,000 dead...and NO CLOSER
Posted on September 8, 2004 2:56 AM
I have ONE MORE thing to pass on....
Vote For Bush 2004: What Bodies? Where?
(oh! thats right! the Bush Admin won't ALLOW any photographers/publishers to take photo's/ publish any caskets of dead military soldier's. THE FIRST PHOTO OF AN OPEN CASKET CEREMONY IS COMING OUT IN HARPERS MAG THIS MONTH. PICK IT UP. THIS ISNT HOLLYWOOD, AMERICAN BOYS AND GIRLS ARE BEING KILLED AND NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT!!!!! AND THE GOVT. IS TRYING TO SMOOTHE IT OVER LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING!!!! OPEN YOUR EYES. JUST READ SOMETHING, ANYTHING! AND THEN MAKE THE RIGHT DESCISION WHEN YOU VOTE! EVEN IF ITS AGAINST WHAT I BELIEVE OR ANYONE ELSE BELIEVES, JUST EDUCATE YOURSELF, AND THEN VOTE. AND IF YOU ARE BETWEEN 18-30, THEN YOU BETTER VOTE LIBERAL, BECAUSE ONCE THE VOLUNTARY MILITARY IS KILLED, YOU ARE THE ONES THAT ARE GETTING SENT THERE...THINK!!!!!
Posted on September 8, 2004 3:09 AM
Could someone explain to CaliGirl (Callgirl?) that Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11?
Ok I will. CALIGIRL! George W said it himself, no connection between 9/11 and Iraq!
Bumper sticker(?):
Regime Change begins at home! -Preferably through the process of democratic elections. Otherwise a Constitutional crisis may occur and this,in turn, would delay the transfer of power.
Posted on September 8, 2004 7:11 AM
Osama:
1 day
2 1/2 buildings
Approx. 3750 civilian deaths
Bush:
Over 1 year
Who knows how many destroyed buildings
Over 12,000 civilian deaths.
Who's the bigger terrorist???
Posted on September 9, 2004 8:13 PM
Bumpersticker suggestion:
Out, out damned Bush! Out, I say!
Posted on September 9, 2004 8:15 PM
didja ever notice how most bush stickers you see are on SUVs... hmm.......
Posted on September 13, 2004 11:47 AM
I voted for John Kerry...
...before I voted against him.
Posted on September 14, 2004 4:06 PM
November 2 is gonna be great! Are all you losers going to leave the country? hahahahahaha
Posted on September 14, 2004 4:08 PM
How could any of you anti-Americans not vote for our beloved president G.W.Bush? Here is a man who in the midst of the greatest police action of his time had the fortitude and courage to join the Air National Guard ahead of 100,000 previous applicants (with a pilot aptitude score of 25%, 77% being average, and 95% of all other applicants scoring higher) and proudly and heroically defend Texas from Oklahoma. I say we forget about this whole election stuff and go ahead and finish what the Patriot act started, and abolish the constitution and re-appoint Bush as President. I mean, isn't it obvious that everything he tells us is true, wise, and noble. It's such a burden for the poorer classes to have to keep up with all the issues that they’re not smart enough to understand anyway. Just because you lost your job because IBM decided that they can pay some foreign worker to do it for less money and without any government oversight, doesn't mean your not doing great. Thousands of new jobs are being created everyday under Bush's leadership. Places like Wal-Mart and Pizza Hut are full of opportunities. No need to worry that these new jobs don't have any health benefits because if you and your family will just have the proper respect and faith in Bush. Everything will eventually be all right
Posted on September 15, 2004 11:52 AM
"Support Our Troops Except When They Sodomize People"
Posted on September 15, 2004 10:03 PM
I found this site that has those cool Bush stickers - if your into Bush that is.
http://www.w04stickers.com
Posted on September 16, 2004 1:19 PM
Support our troops by defeating the liar who sent them to die.
Bush: impeach, arrest and prosecute.
Bush: Unless you are a billionaire or a terrorist, he hasn't helped you.
If Bush could read, we'd still have the World Trade Center.
Bush: Making the world safe for terrorists, and no one else.
I hope Bush vows to get me dead or alive, because then I will live forever.
Democrats earn their money, Republicans steal it.
Bush: Bringing America back (from peace and prosperity).
Bush: Because there are more Enrons and Halliburtons.
Bush cut taxes exactly the same way my Visa card gave me a raise.
Vote for Bush: Sure, he'll kill a lot of innocent children, but he'll give you a little money on the side.
Vote for Bush, or Kerry, or Nader: Doesn't matter, Jeb is governor.
Posted on September 21, 2004 8:14 AM
I just saw the "Lick Bush and Dick in '04" bumper sticker and was trying to find where to by one to go with the one I made up "The World is to scarey to elect John Kerry" I can't bring myself to vote for either. NONE of the Above in '04 might be the best bumper sticker
Posted on September 22, 2004 2:30 PM
Al Qaeda Killed 3,000 Americans and they are terrorists. Bush killed 1,000 and he's a hero.
Kerry's a washrag, but look at our choices.
I'm not voting for Kerry, I'm voting against Bush.
Posted on September 23, 2004 8:42 PM
pick a side, your just like kerry
BE A FAIRY, VOTE FOR KERRY!!!
liberal SOB's
Posted on September 27, 2004 8:30 PM
For Commander in Chief, we need a beacon not a weathervane!
Posted on September 29, 2004 12:54 PM
Bush is the best thing that has happened to this country if you havent realized the problems that he's had was bc Clinton brought it apond Bush! Bush such an awesome man and haha He's still going to be our President so everything you say dont matter!!! hahaha
Posted on November 11, 2004 10:30 AM
Interesting thoughts, just wanted to mention I came from blogspot.
Posted on November 12, 2004 4:06 PM
Liars and idiots got their fearless leader. God help America.
the bumber sticker placed on the right wing of Air Force One:
Who Would Jesus Sell Out To?
Posted on December 5, 2004 7:09 PM
Found this web site that has some pretty funny and appropriate bumper stickers.
http://www.ratrage.com
I like (in this order):
1. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, NOT THE IDIOT.
2. EITHER BUS IS AN IDIOT, OR YOU ARE.
3. I'VE HAD ENOUGH BUSH.
4. BUSH IS A TRAIN WRECK.
Pretty funny.
Posted on October 5, 2005 8:41 PM
Posted on: 11:29PM | 70 Comments | Permalink