Leo's in stitches

Leonardo DiCaprio filed a police report that he was attacked by a woman with a broken bottle at a party, requiring 12 stitches in his neck! Now that’s a party!

Sure beats the hell out of what Leo, David Blaine and Tobey Maguire do for entertainment when all they have is a tea set, a telephone and a friend with mad Photoshopping skillz.

The death of Cardinal Sin!

We can all sleep a little easier now, because Cardinal Sin is officially dead.

Cardinal Jaime Sin of The Philippines died of renal failure after being taken to the hospital with a high fever. He was 76.

And, true, the only thing funny in the whole story is the headline, but sometimes that’s enough.