More ringy-dingies

In an effort to reduce the cost of cell phones and get more of them into the hands of third-world residents, Philips Electronics has developed the Nexperia Cellular System, a way to put all the electronics of a mobile phone into a handset costing only $20.

The Nexperia sets can make calls and text message and come with monochrome screens. No flashy cameras, no note taking or extensive personal digital assistant hoohaw, just a phone that anyone can use and afford.

It’s a win-win for everyone, since 77% of the world’s population lives within range of a mobile network, but only 25% subscribe to the services. Now there are affordable phone to allow almost anyone to more easily communicate with everyone else, and the cellular companies get to jerk them around just like the rest of us with lousy service and ridiculous fees. Welcome to the modern world!

Hard core

Scientists have discovered a planet that they can’t quite explain, because although it’s 75% as big as Jupiter, its core is as big as 70 Earths. The planet was detected because it was tugging on its own star, rather than vice versa.

“This is a very weird object,” said one astronomer with what we will assume was a kind of small smirk and wiggling of eyebrows. For one thing, its mere presence kind of throws what we thought we knew about planetary development out the window. So it’s back to the drawing board and another stupid mystery to be solved by those dumb scientists who don’t realize that God did it, and that’s that!

Propagandamentalist

One you probably won’t see at Smoking Gun: Jeffrey Vernon Merkey lives in Utah. Mr. Merkey says that he’s been involved in Open Source development for 10 years, specifically relating to Linux. Mr. Merkey just filed suit against SlashDot, Groklaw and 230 other online sites and even some real people because, according to Mr. Merkey, they’re all violating his constitutional and statutory rights to free speech and religion.

And what’s more, Slashdot is “a far right wing Internet news website that posts libelous (sic) and defamatory content and is used by Open Source Community members to anonymously post hate speech, death threats, threats to murder and promotes and advocates acts of domestic terrorism within the United States.” Which is wacky!

I’m thinking of suing Kottke. Sometimes, but only sometimes, he links to dumb things which irritate me. Hate that!

Fat-fingering a $12 million loss

A stock trader for Fubon Securities in Taiwan accidentally bought $251 million in shares, resulting in a paper loss of $12 million for her employer — or, that should be, ex-employer.

She was supposed to be keying in a small order from Merrill Lynch but, you know, didn’t. She was, it has been explained, unfamiliar with new computer systems.

She is now employed by the Bush administration figuring out how to make Social Security work.