December 19, 2005

I just cannot get going today, for some reason. The coffee is doing nothing, I am sitting at the computer with, like, three projects to work on and none of them are cranking my ‘nads, as it were, and the sky is gray and the cat is sleeping and it’s one week to Xmas and I just cannot get going.

I see the need for a personal jump-starter, some sort of contrivance that you hook up to… what? Your nipples? Nipples jumps to mind. You hook it up to your nipples and it does for you what it would do for a car, just get everything humping, so to speak, and on its way.

I am also struck by the fact that I’ve used “nipples,” “humping,” and “cranking my ‘nads” in the authoring of this post, suggesting that I don’t so much need a machine to jolt me as something (or someone) a bit more personal in nature.

As if that is, in any way, a surprise.

david added:

Just dive into it. play louuuuud music and dive!! That’s how I do it. The sound track to “The Singing Nun” in mono is my warm up followed by “Love Songs of the Himalayas”. Personally I think it sounds like elk or moose doing it to piano but who am I???

Jemaleddin added:

I gotta go with an enema on this one. I’ve never tried one, but of all the feelings I would imagine accompany enemas, ennui isn’t one of them.

Andrew added:

Say, what ever happened with the “Sez YOU” project?

Brendan added:

I heard recently about a man coming up behind you, slipping a hand under your shirt and heading north to the first available nipple. The mere suggestion of this manual exploration last night, for example, had me on the phone in minutes, ending a dead-end flirationship (flirtation heading towards a relationship?) and putting me squarely back in my own picture and not obsessed with the needs of someone else. So the whole nipple concept as a jump start may not be all that off track.

Isn’t it amazing how some of the best jump starts come out of the blue? Who knew?

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Posted on December 19, 2005 at 01:07PM • 4 CommentsPermalink • Read more in commentary

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