There’s no easy way to say goodbye to a cherished pet, and if you follow the fasion advice of Tinkebell, you never have to. This…

Your philanthropic choices (or lack thereof) are your business, however, if you’re like me, you’ve got some really mixed feelings about the Red Cross. Something…

You know, we gay men are always being accused of being nothing but walking hard-ons, just promiscuous slutty wankers sleeping around all the time and…

Since 2000, almost 100,000 claims have been filed nationwide by employees of nuclear weapon research sites detailing the health hazards associated with creating better bombs….

Bombay, India received over 37 inches of rain in 24 hours — the heaviest rainfall ever recorded, bringing life there to a virtual halt. 25…

You hear about how many people were killed on a daily basis in Iraq by the insurgency, but have you ever actually added them all…

For those of you biting your nails out there over the pending global disaster known as Avian Flu, good news! It appears that the deadly…

One you probably won’t see at Smoking Gun: Jeffrey Vernon Merkey lives in Utah. Mr. Merkey says that he’s been involved in Open Source development…

Acrylamide is formed when starchy foods are baked or fried at high temperatures. Acrylamide is on a list of chemicals known to cause cancer by…

Every single one of Canada’s existing heterosexual marriages came one step closer to being rendered meaningless as the nation’s ruling government approved four confidence votes…

Apple head honcho Steve Jobs told a bunch of Stanford grads, who just spent nearly $30k per year to capture their precious diplomas, that the…

Unsurprisingly, Pope Benedict XVI pronounced same-sex marriage as “expressions of an anarchic freedom,” but also magnanimously included civil unions and trial marriages, so it’s not…

Science academies in Great Britain, France, Russia, Germany, the U.S., Japan, Italy and Canada, along with those of Brazil, China and India are all in…

Atheists have two things in common; they don’t believe in God, and they’re not fans of getting organized. The other religions may have churches to…

On April 25th, Eric J. Wagner bought an Illinois Lottery ticket that he would soon learn was worth $37.5 million. That’s the good news. The…

Gloria Jummati was packing for her return trip to Chicago from her Florida condo when she became dizzy from the smell of suntan lotion and…

In order to stop their glacier from melting under the threat of global warming, the Gemsstock ski resort in Switzerland is wrapping their ice in…

Paula Roemer used to let her pet cat, Yofi, outside to roam about and go meow and pee and cover up the pee and so…

In a move to restrict “overly sexual performances” by its cheerleaders, the Texas state legislature has voted to ban suggestive cheerleading from its schools because,…

It’s the latest trend to hit food services! In Wilmington, North Carolina, this time, a man enjoying a pint of frozen custard bought at Kohl’s…

Okay, here’s a head-scratcher for you and something to keep in the back of your mind to feel better about the fact that you don’t…

MJ’s second ex-wife and plastic surgery helpmate Debbie Rowe took the stand at his trial this week and if one thing can be said for…

Scarborough Research was contacted by the Republican National Committee for some marketing data about car buyers to figure out how to reach potential voters with…

If you think that your south Asia vacation has been washed away with the bodies and buildings of the 2004 tsunami, you’re dead wrong. Although…

KFC is slowly morphing back into Kentucky Fried Chicken one store at a time. The maker of delicious seasoned deep-fried mutant chicken parts is finally…

Correspondents at the Glassdog Vatican Branch have found the following crumpled document in a wastebasket of the Sistine Chapel: …

Ted Nugent, everyone’s favorite gun nut and the only man keeping the Dumbest Human On The Planet trophy from Ozzy Osbourne’s shaky little hands, recently…

Hey! Did you know that today is the Day of Silence, while tomorrow is the Day of Truth? Hey! Do you even know what the…

Forbes has an interesting set of articles about the world of diets, including profiles of leading diet gurus and an examination of just how much…

As if the idea of lining up to look at a dead body wasn’t enough to creep me out, now the official word is that…

Florida may be th esunshine state, but apparently all that sun has th enatives turning kind of violent. This assumption is based on a new…

Besides being an avid skiier, single-handedly bringing down Communism, making sure the gay folk couldn’t marry, Catholic women stayed pregnant, and moving child-molesting priests from…

It must be true that a sucker is born every minute, but in this story it’s difficult to tell which one the sucker is —…

ESPN writes a fitting tribute to the outgoing Catholic sportsman. “We were like all the other mountain boys, winter was long in Poland.”…

Catholic? Gambling problem? 12 mouths to feed on one salary? Not to worry, Jim. Take the safe bet on the Eye-talian and get $5 on…

Both CNN and the NY Times have reported that the Pope is dead, only to retract the news within minutes. Catholics everywhere rejoice in Miracle…

UNCONFIRMED: Wire services reports are still conflicting, and official notification lacking, but Glassdog World Headquarters has been informed by knowledgeable chicken sources that Frank Perdue…

To add insult to injury, the Pope has a urinary tract infection. I suggest pouring some cranberry juice in that tube thingie….

Now that Terry Schiavo is dead, George W. Bush, who presided over an assload of executions as Governor of Texas and is marching the planet…

“Well, as predicted, Terri has won the race. There was a good last-minute challenge by Rev. Falwell, and The Pope tried valiently to die but…

Oh delicious irony… The Pope is now being kept alive through a tube. The Catholic Church, who was pretty vocal in the Terri Schiavo mess,…

“Looks like Terri is still in the lead, though she’s been there for around 15 years so it’s anyone’s guess what she’ll do next.” “Besides…

What is the Pope doing in this photo: Calling Bingo, upset that he wasn’t allowed to play. Stifling a sneeze after a dove of peace…

I know, I know, your house stinks. You left something in the crisper, the garbage hasn’t been emptied all week, the dishes in the sink…

Smoking Gun has a Flash animation from the Minnesota Native American Nazi teen high school shooting spree killer about killing lots of people and smoking….

Pope John Paul² won’t be rummaging around the Vatican looking for dyed eggs and chocolate bunnies this Easter Sunday, because he watches too much TV…

Male child sleeping-with advocate Michael Jackson arrived at his molestation trial 45 minutes late looking shaky and walking stiffly, causing the U.S. media to pause…

What should be a private matter has already grown too far out of control and I have nothing to add in the matter. As a…

As I understand it, there’s a woman in Florida who’s been on a feeding tube for a few years now after a heart attack caused…

What has 103 rooms, five swimming pools, room for eight limousines in its garage, a bowling alley, a cinema, a squash court and the Queen…

All the kids are doing it! It’s sexy, it’s fun, it’s hip and you can lose your shirt doing it! It’s poker! Yes, why waste…

Continuing on my “baby killer” theme for today, or something, turns out that in Russia, they’re using stem cells for everything from multiple sclerosis to…

You might want to pull out your credit statements from the last month if it’s not your habit to look them over once or twice….

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman told a group of fourth grade students that if he was stuck on a desert island, what he would most…

“The only thing I’ve been dreaming about is a cappuccino. We asked the guards every day … for a cappuccino,” she said. “I get here,…

Newsweek interviews insane people who not only believe in Michael Jackson’s innocense, but spend their time creating Christmas decorations and drawing fantasy pictures of themselves…

If Hunter S. Thompson gets what he always wanted, his earthly remains will soon get blown up real good. Thompson’s family says that the writer…

Having just recovered from not physically dying but losing his mind or something anyway, Pope John Paul² says in his new book that gay marriage…

Having just returned from a 2-week vacation in Europe, I find that the world has gotten extremely weird — or more precisely it was already…

The Queen’s Navy (too easy), which five years ago lifted a ban on homosexuality, has decided to start actively recruiting the little buggers. Commodore Paul…

Two former employees of the Gorilla Foundation, home to Koko the “talking” ape, have filed a lawsuit contending that they were ordered to bond with…

Everyone loves a wedding! Mary Kay Letourneau, everyone’s favorite grade school teacher and convicted child rapist, is making an honest man out of her little…

She: matronly from birth and Diana’s nemesis. He: wished he was a tampon and heir to the throne. They: are finally going to wed in…

COLORADO TEENS FINED FOR GIVING COOKIES TO NEIGHBOR That’s right - rather than go to a school dance where people might be swearing this pair…

Leader of the Catholic Church and 84-year-old virgin Pope John Paul² had difficulty breathing after reading on the Global Interweb that teens in Texas actually…

An unemployed 25-year old german woman, let’s call her “Hasselhoffia”, is at risk to lose her unemployment benefits because she refuses to go to work…

See if you can follow this one: A “Mexican People Smuggler” from Tijuana gets high on drugs and drinks himself into the conclusion that the…

Yes, it’s that time of year again when Sue in HR stops by your desk and wants to know how many boxes of Caramel DeLites…

Is he or isn’t he? The Council on American-Islamic Relations says that Rev. Jerry Falwell wants to help the tsunami victims with medical aid, counceling…

First Tinky Winky, then those incorrigable sodomites Bert and Ernie, and now… Spongebob. Yes, those crazy (and I do mean crazy) evangelicals over at Focus…

About 2.5 million Muslims are ending the 5-day ritual of the Hajj in Mecca, throwing stones at George W. Bush — oops — I mean,…

When faced with the question of what to do about same-sex marriages and church canon, the leaders of St. Thomas’s Episcopal Church in New Haven,…

When I was in school, we were told that being things like architects and firemen and scientists and even mathematicians were all paths to career…

Just so’s we’re all on the same page here: Bush said the reason we needed to go into Iraq in the first place was that…

The fine state of Georgia, which God in his or her infinite wisdom placed in the South and just downwind of Florida, is being told…

If you were planning on crashing the innaugural parade with your baby stroller and umbrella in case it rains, forget about it. This year’s innaugural…

It was bound to happen, and now it has. In a sort of retaliation for Adkins and lo-carb everything and “Americans are fat slobs” news…

In one of the few small Afghani mountain villages still under the control of the Taliban, a local judge has refused to grant a divorce…

Restaurants and bars in Italy are giving smoking the boot starting January 10th. Owners who don’t police the ban will be subject to a $3,000…

If you’re like me, every time you watch Emeril Live you get this nagging drive to give a gourmet chef a heart attack. Now you…

A herd of cows staged a sit-in on the runway at Banda Aceh, Indonesia to stop relief planes from landing. At 1am local time, several…

Wal-Mart had foreseen that this holiday season might not be the buying bonanza that everyone hoped, so they told their overseas suppliers to slow down…

Terrorist experts believe that, even though Bin Laden has received the thumb’s up from a Saudi cleric to use nuclear weapons against the west, the…

Is your favorite part of the Oscars® the yearly salute to all the stars and sub-stars who died in the past year? Or maybe you’re…

If you have a ticket to fly US Airways into Philadelphia over the New Year’s weekend, keep your fingers crossed that there’ll be anyone there…

My bonus this year? A card for one free rental at Blockbuster and a handshake. What about those poor brokerage house employees who’ve suffered so…

Danny Hopkins was driving his Cadillac CTS when he crashed into Lindsay Kyle’s car and killed her. Investigators thought he was travelling at 65 to…

The 9.0 earthquake struck northwest of Sumatra in the Indian Ocean, displacing millions of tons of seawater and shoving the entire island 100 feet over….

Santa Claus was attacked and mugged by a group of French teenagers when he refused to give them more candy. Santa was standing on a…

It’s expected that when you’re out for a sublime meal at one of the best restaurants, you’re going to pair your food with a variety…

Matha Stewart spent Thanksgiving with a convicted cocaine dealer and thinks prison food sucks. These are but two of the revelations that Martha has experienced…

Superior Court Judge Richard Kramer will begin hearing arguments tomorrow in San Francisco to decide whether the marriage of two people of the same sex…

If you’re taking Celebrex, you might want to stop doing so. It may cause a heart attack. Oh, and if you have lung cancer? And…

A church musical director at The Crystal Cathedral went crazy bananas and started shooting up the place which, if you haven’t experienced it for yourself,…

It’s apparently so difficult to get school children to open a book and actually read about something, that the Maryland public schools are giving in…

Dick Clark suffered a stroke at his Malibu home on Monday, and the first thing everyone wondered was, “he’s not dead, yet?” The second thing…

Hey, good citizens of the liberal progressive America! Going on a trip abroad and afraid of being attacked by fanatical Muslims driven mad by wild…

Your economy is going to beat Japan’s. Pick the reason: 1) Your monetary structure is more sound. 2) Your governement leaders are more fiscally responsible….

A few “facts” the US government wants you to know: abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, half the gay male teenagers in the United…

At the Algonquin Hotel in New York, you can now buy a $10,000 martini, complete with a single flawless diamond in the bottom of the…

In 2002, Jack Whittaker won a record $315 million PowerBall lottery. Since then, his home has been broken into numerous times, the body of an…

Looks like we don’t need gay marriage to ruin anything, praise Jesus. Finding the American “nuclear family” of five is now twice as hard as…

If you happen to know a 65-year-old guy who like trains, has a cousin named Susan, was raised by his mom after his dad died…

That 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich with the face of the Virgin Mary on it that almost got eaten but miraculously ended up on eBay (wonder…

Jeans for $35 custom fitted to your body. A doll with the face of your child, right down to her freckle pattern. Fleece jackets made-to-order….

According to the Liberty Legal Institute and Houston concerned mom Delana Davies, if you dress like a girl too many times, you turn gay. I…

GAP Kids is selling the hoodio, a fleece hoodie with a built-in FM radio. Tuner and volume controls are on the sleeve and the hood…

A five-year-old girl saved her 14-week-old sister from a wild dingo after the animal came into their hotel room on Fraser Island off the coast…

A Connecticutt woman has been charged with having sex with an 8-year-old boy whom she refers to as her boyfriend. Neighbors refer to her as…

Is it going too far to call the Texas State Board of Education a bunch of retard butthead fuckoids for insisting that all “asexual stealth…

It’s not just Americans who are deperate to leave Bush’s America. A Canadian man stripped naked, climbed over an airport fence topped with three strands…

Used to be that for a dog to be allowed on buses and taxis or in restaurants, they had to be Service Dogs, paired with…

Bitch all you want about “activist judges”or “marriage for everyone,” but when the time comes to give thanks for something, try to remember that you’re…

A man who shared part of an $87 million California lottery pay-off was shot to death by Seattle police on Sunday. The police department says…

The National Geographic Society has updated its Atlas of the World, incorporating 15,000 changes and updates. A second version, dubbed The World of George W….

60% of Americans will participate in some form of Haloween mischief this year, and 56% will wear costumes doing it—and 21% will dress up their…

Moscow schoolchildren will be issued special “passports” and wear identity dog tags as part of a beefing up of security following the Chechen terrorist attack…

The Beeb looks at the current increase in extinction rates around the world, wondering to itself if we’re entering the sixth mass extinction of our…

After cruising through the usual list of news sites, political weblogs, campaign stops and Internet flotsam today, it’s pretty clear that the whole world is…

It’s so bulky it barely fits in normal lanes or parking spots. It weighs over three tons. It gets single digit gas mileage. And it…

If you’re like me, you have a few basic questions whebever you wander into a Starbucks. Like, “How can they make money when all they…

The man who invented under-car neon lighting has just changed his name to “They,” so he can claim responsiblity for all the things that are…

Cat Stevens, now known as Yusuf Islam, is no longer welcome in America “on national security grounds.” The one-time singer who wanted us all on…

Be thankful your name isn’t Stancy Nesby. In 1999, another woman arrested for cocaine possession gave her name as Stancy Nesby and then failed to…

Imagine, if you will, that Enron’s cadre of lying, cheating, stealing executives weren’t living it up in Dallas while bleeding granny dry in Fresno, but…

Right up there with NAMBLA and Bug Chasers, the Pro-Anorexia movement has to be one of the oddest, sickest, saddest “trends” going. Positioning eating disorders…

Crystal meth, once considered just a party drug and the preferred candy of tweakers worldwide, is making inroads at work as users snort the stimulant…

It is now officially illegal …

It seems the wealthy really are worse off than the noble underclass when it comes to depression and mental illness. Stay Free! Has a great…

Dear women of China: Please refrain from being sexy. Love, your government overseers. Yes, once again we are reminded that no matter how bad we…

The Paris Hilton Collection exclusively at Amazon.com. “Sterling Silver Belly Chain w/ Swarovski Crystal Hearts, 43” by Paris Hilton” $95.00 Paris Hilton, the great-granddaughter of…

20,000 people showed up at the new IKEA in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia and, in a rush to claim 50 $150.00 shopping vouchers given away, three…

Juan is a bear at the Berlin Zoo who is apparently all done with the whole cage thing. After using a log as a raft…

Oh, good. It’s Burning Man time again. The gathering of many thousand now-thirtysomethings in the desert for their annual mid-life crisis has become a Web…

Low-carb diet madness is hitting Krispy Kreme Donuts very hard. The company’s profits fell 50% over a year ago, plus they reported slower sales for…

The Guerilla Queer Bar Takeover is a simple process: 1) Set up a Web site. 2) Tell all your (gay) friends about it. 3) Pick…

Newsweek reporter Diane Dimond details the painful and embarrassing process her 78-year-old father endured at the airport security gate because his watch and belt buckle…

Seems that airport security checks are getting so heinous, a Senator—and a famous one at that—sometimes can’t board a plane in his home state to…

One of San Francisco’s most identifiable and remarkable landmarks, the Transamerica Pyramid adds a unique profile to the city’s landscape. But don’t spend too much…

At Nipplegate +6 months, a look at the year so far: As obscenity goes, a flash of female breast is hardly worth bothering with. Magazines…

How would Jesus vote? He wouldn’t, at least according to a group of religious leaders meeting in Austin, Texas. If you think George Bush’s evangelical…

The California Supreme Court ruled that San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom overstepped his authority when he authorized the marriages of 4,037 gay and lesbian couples…

Is the White House doing too much or too little about terrorism? The latest news releases about caught terrorists and heightened terror alerts has our…

Why are some athletes seemingly allowed to pump their bodies full of drugs and continue to be placed on pedestals for all of us to…

Things you learn at the California Alternative High Schol in Los Angeles: there are two house of Congress, one for Democrats and one for Republicans;…

What can one add to one’s home that’s unique, romantic, inexpensive and useful? A treehouse. But not just any treehouse, of course, we’re talking a…

Our long, dark nightmare is finally over. Tigger didn’t do it. Michael Chartrand used to live his dream, and it was putting on a Tigger…

Missouri became the first state to legalize descrimination in its constitution by adding the phrase, “To be valid and recognized in this state, a marriage…

China is wrestling with some modern (Western) demons in the form of senseless attacks of violence, the latest being on a kindergarten class in Beijing,…

Want to have a truly trendy party? Need to have the one item everyone will be huddled around? Then forget the bubble machine, what you…

You know those reports over the weekend that suddenly made New York, New Jersey and Washington DC into police states meant to protect the inhabitants…

Continuing today’s theme of “fear and suspect everyone and everything all the time forever,” comes this story from Chicago where a passenger saw a 60-year-old…

Turns out Marlon Brando isn’t actually dead, he’s wearing a blonde wig and pretending to be Mary Alice Workman of Key West, Florida. Unfortunately, his…

Stephanie Willett was on an escalator eating a candy bar going down to a subway station in Washington DC. A transit police Rent-A-Cop told her…

The BBC News Online Magazine takes an interesting angle on the drive to get tourists to come to London—tell everyone the place is hugely overpriced,…

It turns out that Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the 9/11 planner, had a big career ahead of him as a Hollywood screenwriter. If only he didn’t…

America has been pointing an accusing finger at Russia over piracy for years, claiming that they’re stealing everything we make, from movies to software to…

Jokes that jump to mind: “So really, it’s an Army of two!”; “The few. The proud. The liposuctioned.”; “Be more than you can be!” The…

Apple CEO Steve Jobs could have any house he wanted, but what he really wants is to tear down an historic home on his property…

After 9/11, National League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig ordered all teams to play “God Bless America” as a sign of, like, support or something for…

While toymaker Mattel’s profits rose in the last quarter, superslim fashion doll and friend to anorexics everywhere Barbie saw her own sales fall 13% worldwide,…

Florida has decided against instructing firefighters and state workers that gay couples who appear swarthy and darkly tanned with an austere sense of home decorating…

In addition to the gambling, the sex, the leathery skin, the Celine extravaganza, way too much Cirque d’So Gay and the offhand tiger attack, Las…

Okay, first there was the dumb California politician who called a little constituant a “stupid, dirty girl,” and now comes the story of the candy…

Sooooo, turns out that a chemical used to make GoreTex and pizza boxes and, most importantly for this story, Teflon seems to cause cancer and…

ABC newsman Sam Donaldson went to one of his New Mexico ranch houses and found three dead bodies inside the house. Donaldson knew something was…

California used to be the bastion of all that is weird, giving birth to the dumbest and most assinine trends imaginable—like electing movie stars as…

If you can’t manage to get on Bill Gates’s schedule this week, neither can anyone else. Bill and a few of his fellow billionaires are…

There’s a house in Berkeley, California that has 32 TV sets. Outside. The home on Oregon Street starting suddenly growing TV sets like mushrooms all…

It looks like today’s all about what a wicked, wicked place the world is for our tiny brethren. A new study suggests that one in…

Though reading a headline like that might make you think glassdog has suddenly become an offshoot of The National Enquirer, it seems that cars and…

The Los Angeles Times documents how a Berkeley rabble-rouser is taking on Wal-Mart in the largest class action suit in the world. Most interesting take-away:…

Just a little gallery of images for those of you in your Hummers coasting along the nations highways, bemoaning the high cost of gasoline. The…

There are dating sites out there for practically everyone, but where do you go when you want to be assured that you’re not going to…

Baseball-sized hail rained down on parts of Texas today, as God made his wrath known about all sorts of things that have been happening in…

Clinton blows a load at the Beeb; NYTimes says new book sucks a big one Former President Bill Clinton, on a worldwide unending press junket…

Julia, are you in a quandary about what to name your baby? Feeling one-upped by What’s Her Name and that Rocker boyfriend? Don’t want the…

Security professionals like to gather and show off just as much as anyone else does. After all, a trade show is a great excuse to…

My home state of Virginia has finally entered the … er … 20th century with its new billboard campaign: isn’t she a little young. Apparently,…

You know those colorful, shiny little trinkets that they put in gumball machines? The playful little nothings that tempt the kids (or, quite possibly, the…

What would you do if you came home one evening from your day’s labors and found that a lion had eaten half your significant other?…

Saw this headline screaming on the front of the Chron when I was walking back to the office with my lunch (pesto-pasta salad if you…

Italian designer Roberto Cavali apparently thought plastering the images of Hindu goddesses over women’s crotches was great fashion. London’s Harrod’s department store apparently agreed, offering…

Smugglers are buying cigarettes for $20 a carton in Virginia (and other states) and transporting them up Interstate 95 to New York (and other states)…

We know you’re all waiting with bated breath… Did JLo’s (AKA FerPez’s) marriage to Marc Anthony (AKA M-Ant) take place or not? Mr. Anthony isn’t…

Tired of the same-old, same-old? Hawaii and Europe just too ‘been there, done that?’ Then why not hop a plane for Kansas and take a…

Where we spew up the weekend’s events so you know what everyone else is already talking about. More or less. Reagan loses bid to take…

Consider this while you ponder the state of obesity here in the U.S.: 300,000 people will die of starvation in Sudan’s Darfur region even if…

Dutch insurance company Aon has a map that will tell you whether where you’re living right now is more or less likely to be a…

Hey kids! If your idea of a balanced diet is balancing the amount of potato chips in the bag to the amount of Coke left…

A “computer glitch” struck Britain’s skylanes and caused delays of up to three hours at Gatwick and Heathrow this morning. The cause, it seems, is…

I am on a purging binge. I’ve taken four garbage bags of old clothes to Goodwill (because I don’t support the Salvation Army’s prejudicial scare…

Write your own pithy caption for this one. It’s making my brain melt. …