Pope Dead, Then Not Dead

Both CNN and the NY Times have reported that the Pope is dead, only to retract the news within minutes. Catholics everywhere rejoice in Miracle of Papal Resurrection, while Florida prepares for a ballot recount.

Glassdog has learned that the Supreme Court has convened in emergency session to decide once and for all if Pope is dead or not. Tom Delay, who assassinated John Paul I, has sworn to bring the killers to justice.