May 12, 2005

Gloria Jummati was packing for her return trip to Chicago from her Florida condo when she became dizzy from the smell of suntan lotion and Daiquiris, stumbled over to the edge of her 9th story balcony and fell towards the ground, only to land on a canvas awning like a cartoon character and survived with only a shoulder injury.

Being that this happened in Florida, what other possible explanation could the attending Fire-Rescue Marshall give than, "Angels floated her down."

Yes, this is what angels do all day. They hover around you as you go about your daily schedule, bored out of their minds, hoping against hope that you'll fall to your almost-death so they finally have something to do besides end wars or stop children from being kidnapped or other stupid, pointless crap.

Not that we're unhappy Gloria didn't go splat, we're just pissed off at the angels who seem to pick and choose whom to help based on episodes of Woody Woodpecker.

Posted on: 10:17AM | 0 Comments | Permalink